Why we do the things we do

Things that loneliness make us do.

Things that pride make us say.

Things that selfishness make us think.

Things that denial make us hide.

Things that self-esteem make us believe.

Things that honesty make us see.

Things that love make us feel.

Why we do the things we do........

When we allow our loneliness, or pride, or selfishness, or denial, or self-esteem, or honesty, or love to dominate every thoughts and actions.

But we often fail to realize that we own these traits and exercising self-control shows them who's the boss.

We will always have good and bad characteristic traits. Some of the most positive traits we can possess are compassion, integrity, trust and humility.

Whether its a positive sign or negative sign, they both need each other - like a battery in your car. Balance (positive and negative) is required for a better, stronger performance of who we are. 

Some circumstances in life give strength to our negative traits, and that is normal; but we must eventually shift gears and bring it back to our positive traits. When we practice to see the positive in every negative situation, it prepares us to face greater challenges life has to offer; it gives us endurance, and we become silent heroes to those who are watching us.   

LDRs

LDRs - Long Distance Relationships

The advantage - the positive :

- time to know each other; long phone conversations, webcam sessions
- the heart yearns for closeness; strong bond; hope, patience, and more appreciation
- committed relationship values are stronger
- special trips to see each other



The disadvantage - the negative :

- relationship via phone; limited physical interaction
- sexual frustration
- prolonged arguments
- possible trust issue
- if busy schedule, possible communication issue
- financially drained
- emergencies are extremely stressful - you can't get there quickly or be there at all


Are LDRs simply for hopeless romantics? risk takers? dreamers? lonely, desperate lovers?

Is it the heart and soul craving for love that makes us pursue it wherever it may be? 

Despite of it all, we can't help who we fall in love with.

Or can we?  

I stand alone

A journey like mine
no one can define
i look in the mirror
and try to see what people despise
but i can't understand why
   I can't help to wonder
   Love does not matter
   I stand alone
If only they can see what I feel on the inside
the struggles that made me crumble and cry
the heartaches that kept me wondering why
and the misunderstandings constantly testing my pride
   I can't help to wonder
   Love does not matter
   I stand alone
Why are you quick to give me a definition of who i am
and say you have the story of redemption
yet your heart is filled with the venom of rejection
can't you see your sharp words and double standard love takes away from my creation
   I can't help to wonder
   Love does not matter
   I stand alone
How can I believe you died to keep me alive
you knew i'd be lost in this journey, yet you gave me a seed to keep me company
how can I survive if your people and your book says I'm the enemy
but I didn't choose this story
   I can't help to wonder
   Does Love matter
   I stand alone

Why be friends?

Why be affectionate?
When the love you show is - questioned, misrepresented, and misapprehended.
Why be nice?
When the kindness you give is - mishandled, abused, and unappreciated.
Why be honest?
When the trust you have is - tested, doubted, and invalidated.
So why be friends?
When the ingredients of friendship are not equally measured.
The memories and special moments are not emotionally treasured.
And only one of us find quality time to be mentally pleasured.
Why be friends?
When we hesitate to share our fears, failures, and success.
We envy and feel jealousy of one's happiness.
When talking about your past is eventually used against you.
And your intimate desires are exposed and a fear of judgement becomes true.
Why be friends?
When the platonic, unconditional love you feel is only noticeable and cherish when another comes short of expressing their emotions.
When apologies are replaced with excuses and logical explanations.
And our conversations are carefully guided to avoid confrontations.
Why be friends?
When you become a reminder of confusion and condemnation.
She holds back and refuses a deeper connection to avoid people's speculation.
My heart longs for freedom and acceptance because what I feel has always been real -
but it has been rejected, denied, and placed as second best.
So why be friends?

Who wipes your tears?

Tears.

A sign of weakness for some, and for many, a sign of cleansingness.

Whatever the reason, they fall down your cheeks, they pour down your face and you wish they can erase your case.

But this is just another moment...a brief moment.

It doesn't matter if they are seen or not....Tears serve only one purpose - They wash away. They even somehow keep you connected. Maybe connected to your humanity - your emotions.

But who wipes them away? a father or a mother? a son or a daughter? a brother or a sister? a friend or a lover? or a next door neighbor? or could it just be an invisible force or a savior?

Who wipes your tears?

The devil's partner

You never quit. You work 365 days of the year. You aim at the weak, and quickly control them. You are persistent with your attempts to break down the strong ones. Inevitably, they too, will reach their weakest point, and be subject to your power.

Your only goal is to kill. However its done - suicide, murder/suicide - it gets done. You laugh at the fate of those who threw in the towel. But the ones that are still putting up a fight, you come at them with your seductions and illusions. You tell'em - hit this rite quick, drink this, eat that. No harm at first. But we all know, from now on, whenever you come around that's what we'll do - a habit is born.

Your only goal is to kill. Now that our habits have mature, whenever you come around, ya running shit. Got us looking like and acting like fools around here. Even though sometimes our walks and our talks say we got this. But for how long?

"You gotta fake it 'til you make it" I've heard. Because she doesn't always win. When you choose life over death, and when you recognize her for who she is - stress, the devil's partner - the silent killer.... you will know how to deal with her fuckeries....

" I'M DAT BITCH! "

I'm the life of the party. I'm wanted and needed. Everyone loves me. They love the way I make'em feel. When I get inside of you, the warmth I bring you makes you feel so damn good. We become closed. Real closed. When we're together - you feel more alive; you're more fun to be around. You make others laugh. You sometimes make a fool of yourself - whether it's in a good way or bad way....it's all good, I'll take the blame for it. And when you get out of control, getting mad and shit, you sure can do some damage. I'll let you cool off, but I'll be back in your life as if I never left. And you take me back with open arms....ofcourse. Then you take as much of my sweet poison in your system because you love it when I lay it down on you and knock your ass out.

Sometimes you be talking crazy and say you hate me. I know it's all talk and no action because time and time again you keep loving me. Its a rocky, love and hate relationship. It's all about how I make you feel patna! Admit it! You can't get enough of me. Yes! I'm dat bitch. I make you live in the moment. I bring your hidden ways and desires to the surface. I give you courage to say the shit you wouldn't normally say. You need me. I'm dat bitch for you. Admit it - you can't get enough of me.

Man! Fuck you Tequila. You dat bitch that wants to take over my life and slowly kill me. If you such a bad bitch, then make me do something productive. Yep! exactly. You can't do that. Your purpose in life is to destroy, and take away. Why the fuck should I keep fucking with you. All you do is knock me the fuck out - erasing my memory and shit. This is my life, my moments, my body we're talking about. I'm done wit'yo ass. I don't care about the good times we've had. And this so called courage you give me....bitch please! Trust and believe, you don't own me. I let you play your games for too long. I'm tired of your lies, your ways with me, the regrets and low moments you bring me. I'm done wit'chu Tequila.

You really think I'm gonna believe you this time. What's different now? Exactly. Not a gotdamn thing. You know damn well your punkass need this flavor in your life. Without me you're nothing. You ain't shit patna! You ain't shit!!! You're boring. You're insecure. You have no backbone. You're a loser. You can't make it without me. I'll let you sing your ol'tune - but Trust and Believe, you'll come running back to me when stress is kicking your ass.

You know what....smh. You can say what you want. I don't give a damn about what you think this is. All you need to know and all I need to know right now is that we are done. It's over. You had a strong grip on me for awhile, and I was weaken by consuming more of you in my body. But as I'm pouring you down the drain, each ounce of your intoxicating scent has no effect on me. So what's different now? This time, I'm taking my life back...I own this body. You go'head and be dat bitch to someone else, but as for me, I'm good. So Fuck off! Bitch!

Name - Tequila
Status - Empty bottle
Destination - Trash can

Deuces patna!