Why we do the things we do

Things that loneliness make us do.

Things that pride make us say.

Things that selfishness make us think.

Things that denial make us hide.

Things that self-esteem make us believe.

Things that honesty make us see.

Things that love make us feel.

Why we do the things we do........

When we allow our loneliness, or pride, or selfishness, or denial, or self-esteem, or honesty, or love to dominate every thoughts and actions.

But we often fail to realize that we own these traits and exercising self-control shows them who's the boss.

We will always have good and bad characteristic traits. Some of the most positive traits we can possess are compassion, integrity, trust and humility.

Whether its a positive sign or negative sign, they both need each other - like a battery in your car. Balance (positive and negative) is required for a better, stronger performance of who we are. 

Some circumstances in life give strength to our negative traits, and that is normal; but we must eventually shift gears and bring it back to our positive traits. When we practice to see the positive in every negative situation, it prepares us to face greater challenges life has to offer; it gives us endurance, and we become silent heroes to those who are watching us.   

LDRs

LDRs - Long Distance Relationships

The advantage - the positive :

- time to know each other; long phone conversations, webcam sessions
- the heart yearns for closeness; strong bond; hope, patience, and more appreciation
- committed relationship values are stronger
- special trips to see each other



The disadvantage - the negative :

- relationship via phone; limited physical interaction
- sexual frustration
- prolonged arguments
- possible trust issue
- if busy schedule, possible communication issue
- financially drained
- emergencies are extremely stressful - you can't get there quickly or be there at all


Are LDRs simply for hopeless romantics? risk takers? dreamers? lonely, desperate lovers?

Is it the heart and soul craving for love that makes us pursue it wherever it may be? 

Despite of it all, we can't help who we fall in love with.

Or can we?  

I stand alone

A journey like mine
no one can define
i look in the mirror
and try to see what people despise
but i can't understand why
   I can't help to wonder
   Love does not matter
   I stand alone
If only they can see what I feel on the inside
the struggles that made me crumble and cry
the heartaches that kept me wondering why
and the misunderstandings constantly testing my pride
   I can't help to wonder
   Love does not matter
   I stand alone
Why are you quick to give me a definition of who i am
and say you have the story of redemption
yet your heart is filled with the venom of rejection
can't you see your sharp words and double standard love takes away from my creation
   I can't help to wonder
   Love does not matter
   I stand alone
How can I believe you died to keep me alive
you knew i'd be lost in this journey, yet you gave me a seed to keep me company
how can I survive if your people and your book says I'm the enemy
but I didn't choose this story
   I can't help to wonder
   Does Love matter
   I stand alone

Why be friends?

Why be affectionate?
When the love you show is - questioned, misrepresented, and misapprehended.
Why be nice?
When the kindness you give is - mishandled, abused, and unappreciated.
Why be honest?
When the trust you have is - tested, doubted, and invalidated.
So why be friends?
When the ingredients of friendship are not equally measured.
The memories and special moments are not emotionally treasured.
And only one of us find quality time to be mentally pleasured.
Why be friends?
When we hesitate to share our fears, failures, and success.
We envy and feel jealousy of one's happiness.
When talking about your past is eventually used against you.
And your intimate desires are exposed and a fear of judgement becomes true.
Why be friends?
When the platonic, unconditional love you feel is only noticeable and cherish when another comes short of expressing their emotions.
When apologies are replaced with excuses and logical explanations.
And our conversations are carefully guided to avoid confrontations.
Why be friends?
When you become a reminder of confusion and condemnation.
She holds back and refuses a deeper connection to avoid people's speculation.
My heart longs for freedom and acceptance because what I feel has always been real -
but it has been rejected, denied, and placed as second best.
So why be friends?

Who wipes your tears?

Tears.

A sign of weakness for some, and for many, a sign of cleansingness.

Whatever the reason, they fall down your cheeks, they pour down your face and you wish they can erase your case.

But this is just another moment...a brief moment.

It doesn't matter if they are seen or not....Tears serve only one purpose - They wash away. They even somehow keep you connected. Maybe connected to your humanity - your emotions.

But who wipes them away? a father or a mother? a son or a daughter? a brother or a sister? a friend or a lover? or a next door neighbor? or could it just be an invisible force or a savior?

Who wipes your tears?

The devil's partner

You never quit. You work 365 days of the year. You aim at the weak, and quickly control them. You are persistent with your attempts to break down the strong ones. Inevitably, they too, will reach their weakest point, and be subject to your power.

Your only goal is to kill. However its done - suicide, murder/suicide - it gets done. You laugh at the fate of those who threw in the towel. But the ones that are still putting up a fight, you come at them with your seductions and illusions. You tell'em - hit this rite quick, drink this, eat that. No harm at first. But we all know, from now on, whenever you come around that's what we'll do - a habit is born.

Your only goal is to kill. Now that our habits have mature, whenever you come around, ya running shit. Got us looking like and acting like fools around here. Even though sometimes our walks and our talks say we got this. But for how long?

"You gotta fake it 'til you make it" I've heard. Because she doesn't always win. When you choose life over death, and when you recognize her for who she is - stress, the devil's partner - the silent killer.... you will know how to deal with her fuckeries....

" I'M DAT BITCH! "

I'm the life of the party. I'm wanted and needed. Everyone loves me. They love the way I make'em feel. When I get inside of you, the warmth I bring you makes you feel so damn good. We become closed. Real closed. When we're together - you feel more alive; you're more fun to be around. You make others laugh. You sometimes make a fool of yourself - whether it's in a good way or bad way....it's all good, I'll take the blame for it. And when you get out of control, getting mad and shit, you sure can do some damage. I'll let you cool off, but I'll be back in your life as if I never left. And you take me back with open arms....ofcourse. Then you take as much of my sweet poison in your system because you love it when I lay it down on you and knock your ass out.

Sometimes you be talking crazy and say you hate me. I know it's all talk and no action because time and time again you keep loving me. Its a rocky, love and hate relationship. It's all about how I make you feel patna! Admit it! You can't get enough of me. Yes! I'm dat bitch. I make you live in the moment. I bring your hidden ways and desires to the surface. I give you courage to say the shit you wouldn't normally say. You need me. I'm dat bitch for you. Admit it - you can't get enough of me.

Man! Fuck you Tequila. You dat bitch that wants to take over my life and slowly kill me. If you such a bad bitch, then make me do something productive. Yep! exactly. You can't do that. Your purpose in life is to destroy, and take away. Why the fuck should I keep fucking with you. All you do is knock me the fuck out - erasing my memory and shit. This is my life, my moments, my body we're talking about. I'm done wit'yo ass. I don't care about the good times we've had. And this so called courage you give me....bitch please! Trust and believe, you don't own me. I let you play your games for too long. I'm tired of your lies, your ways with me, the regrets and low moments you bring me. I'm done wit'chu Tequila.

You really think I'm gonna believe you this time. What's different now? Exactly. Not a gotdamn thing. You know damn well your punkass need this flavor in your life. Without me you're nothing. You ain't shit patna! You ain't shit!!! You're boring. You're insecure. You have no backbone. You're a loser. You can't make it without me. I'll let you sing your ol'tune - but Trust and Believe, you'll come running back to me when stress is kicking your ass.

You know what....smh. You can say what you want. I don't give a damn about what you think this is. All you need to know and all I need to know right now is that we are done. It's over. You had a strong grip on me for awhile, and I was weaken by consuming more of you in my body. But as I'm pouring you down the drain, each ounce of your intoxicating scent has no effect on me. So what's different now? This time, I'm taking my life back...I own this body. You go'head and be dat bitch to someone else, but as for me, I'm good. So Fuck off! Bitch!

Name - Tequila
Status - Empty bottle
Destination - Trash can

Deuces patna!

Family

What is family? The dictionary says - "a group of individuals living under one roof and under one head : household. A group of persons of common ancestry." I interpret this definition to mean that anyone can create their own family. We don't necessary have to share the same ancestry or blood line. The old adage of "blood is thicker than water" nowadays has been exactly what it is now - some ol'saying folks used to say back in the day.

Some of us grew up in the 70's, 80's, and I'm even gonna throw in the 90's.  Most of us can testify of the changes we've seen around us and around the world. We can also see the effects of a country's condition on the structure of our families. Some of us came from a household that had a father working and being the sole provider; meanwhile the mother is managing the household with different activities such as cooking, cleaning, and caring for the children. But as the economy continuously shifted gears on its people, mothers and fathers had to work long hours. The structure of the household was no longer a father or a mother being the head of the household. As a result, most children became subject to a world of limited guidance and supervision. Some became rebellious, out of control, unruly children having children of their own. Others became "mini adults", and refused to become a statistic.

I was one of the rebellious ones, but didn't have my own child until I reached my mid-twenties. That's how it was written in the script for me. Yes. The activities in this world were previously written by the unseen force that rules the world. But that's a whole another topic. Smdh. Scattered brain. Anyway, family structure - I grew up in a family where the mother did everything and the father was just there. I'm the fourth child and third female. Our father, who is currently in his 70s, was not much of a father figure. Some have said to me, "well, at least, your father is living and he didn't beat you for no reason." Granted, he never put a hand on me and he is breathing; however, he never disciplined, showed affection, took us out, or had "talks" with us. As an adolescent without much supervision that used to fuck with my head. But as an adult, I understand the card that was dealt to him. His father died when he was 17, and he didn't know how to be a father bla bla bla. Yep, that's what it sounds like after awhile. Moving right along. Growing up in a christian, somewhat sheltered home, where my mother was the boss, played an important role on how I view women and family structure.

Some of us grew up hearing how it takes a father to be the head of the household, work and provide for his family. It takes a mother to be the "first lady" of the household, nourish and nurture her family. Nowadays, we mostly choose whatever role fits our personalities or values. The family structure is no longer limited to biological married parents. Today, we are surrounded, or have interacted with people who grew up with two fathers, two mothers, one single or divorced parent (father or mother), adoptive or foster parents,  and grandparents. Some folks who are stuck in their traditional ways feel that the child is being cut short from their developement when the set up is not a father and a mother. That is not necessarily true. We were all born with a survival instinct. Whether we are raised by wolves or humans, a survival trait is there. We will eventually look for or find the things that help us survive as a human being. Yes, I understand that some of us are weaker than others, and they need more attention. But eventually the weak ones will get stronger.

Within the family structure there's the family ways of doing things. Some families may be affectionate, loud, cussing is in their every day conversation, and they're somewhat closed. Other families may be distant emotionally, soft spoken, keep to themselves, and speak or behave a certain way with each other. Bottomline, we won't always agree with the way things are done in our families. We will often have disappointments, disturbing and scandelous secrets, or embarassing people and moments. Despite of it all, when shit hits the fan, when outsiders are attacking your little clan, your peoples......most of the times we all come together to defend or support our families. We know, accept and make a stand when we say - "that's family."  

What do you want?

There was a time, you and I thought we were meant to be. We had a relationship that lasted for awhile. We were young. I tolerated bullshit. And you did what you thought was safe to keep your secret a secret - A stud for a lover and a friend.

Years have gone by. We break up. At first, I felt relieved of the pressure and demands from a committed relationship. But you felt violated, crushed, and betrayed. You will never trust another with your heart. Male or female.

But after awhile, I realized I quit too soon, and tried to win you back. But you weren't trying to hear that old tune. Nigga! you fucked up! keep it movin' - you say. So i kept it moving until i forced this love thing to be squeezed out of my heart.

My heart free....ready to feel and give love. Years have gone by again. It's time for a new season. We recovered from our past. We both have encountered different relationships. Every now and then we wondered what's going on in each other's lives. Sometimes we secretly wished things were different. But that was guilt and loneliness playing tricks on us. But finally we agreed to be friends. 

Friends we are today. And friends we will be for as long as possible. Somehow the tune you're playing now sounds like my old tune....and I'm not trying to hear it. Somehow the games you play are not attractive anymore. What do you want? What do you want me to do now?

You worry about how you look and always wanna have the upperhand.  Always wanna be ahead of the "game". Not everyone plays game....gotdamit! Sometimes people do random shit just to do random shit. Period. But you think niggas are out to play you like a violin. Let your strings relax lil'mama, and enjoy life. You're a big ball of knots, and I wonder who will loosen them up. I once had my time with you, but now it's gone. I can only look from a distance, and extend some support. I once was there a 100%, but now my responsibilities have caused a necessary cut. I'm sorry. Life happens.

I hope you meet someone that suits you well. I no longer occupy that territory, and I'm ok for someone else to take over. I'm not gonna have my cake and eat it too. Yea, there was a time I thought it was ok to do so; but nigga had to grow the fuck up. Games are for immature, not yet emotionally establish mut like I once was.

Bottomline, the time will come and maturity, understanding, peace, love will find their natural place. No doubt.

Simply you....

Relationship requires a lot of work.

Marriage demands commitment and sacrifices.

Long Distance Relationship will involuntarily make you patient and hopeful.

When you meet the one that helps you forget your worries....and takes you to a mental vacation, and you feel peace and contentment. When you meet the one that brings a balance to your over the top world....and they become your pair of new eyeglasses to help you see things clearer whenever she's around. When you meet the one that keeps you whole with the simplest thing she does.....and her love is so simple yet so profound. When she holds you, and her hands caressing your body as she lays soft kisses on your face......her tenderness wraps you up like a thick comforter on a cold winter night. You let your mind travel to the many favorite memories you've shared with her. Your conclusion is happiness. You can't imagine your world without her. She's your everything. You want to do everything in your power to have her feel safe, wanted, cherished, and loved.  So you hold on tight to her love.....and hoping it will continue to get better and stronger as we age.  And when you fuck up, you look forward to making it up to her.

But when distance threatens your foundation occasionally......and a medical issue rises and leads to having surgery. Distance reminds you of your helplessness - you can't be there. Questions. Worries. Doubts. Fears. They all tear down at the confident, hopeful, optimistic attitude you once had. You feel lost. All you hear and see is -
"you can't be there!"
"you can't be there!"
"you can't be there!"
"you can't be there!" 
FUCK!!! I KNOW!!

It has been awhile since I've seen you last. We had a blast. Fireworks. All smiles. All I need right now is that "it" that connects you and I for good times and bad times. But I'm not sure how well it will hold us up because it is our first time down this road together. If only I could touch you one more time. Hold you in my arms and tell you everything will be fine. I know I tell you over the phone.......but it's just not the same.

All I want....all I need....is to be next to you...simply you.

I love you cherie....
    

Death - the enemy...the friend

When fate calls on death, it will come knocking on that door. It knows no color, gender, age or social status. It strikes whenever, and stirs up an agonizing eruption of emotions....sometimes leaving its survivors wishing it was them going six feet under.

Death is normally considered unfair upon its arrival. We hate it and fear it. It is rare that we welcome and appreciate its relief and peace. I wish it would never come, but I know, for every beginning there's an end. But that doesn't stop me to deny or ignore its presence until news travels of its unexpected visit to someone I know.

Tragedy. Pain and sadness for some; Agony and sorrow for others.

Grief can be a long dragging process. Unanswered questions. Scattered emotions.We begin to wonder of the "what ifs" and "should haves"; we then re-evaluate our own world and re-open our previous new year's resolutions. This time we feel its different because fear is our driving force to get shit in order. But how long will our determination last?

A common misconception is that we will be somewhat prepared for death. But eventually reality will smack us in the face. And again we become afraid, and depression creeps in. Our regrets surface. The speed of time is discouraging - we feel we'll never catch up to where we need to be.

We try our best to remain hopeful. Eventhough we know that one day we will face the song and dance with death. We secretly wish for a miracle. We whisper a prayer. But bottomline, we are never prepared for death's unwanted and unexpected visit. 

A Never Ending Masquerade

Masquerade - a word that describes the different settings around us as we grow and develop in this lovely place called Earth. As the years go by, we notice the condition of our society and family foundation deteriorating. At this point, I'm sure some of us wonder how long will this weak foundation last or stand. They are some who believe the end is near, therefore this inevitable destruction that we Earthlings have brought upon ourselves will soon be over. Some say 2012 will be the end of it all. Others are skeptical, and don't really care; but then again the nonchalant attitude may be fear of fate or the unknown. We can easily take up debates among ourselves discussing the conditions of Earth, society, family and generations, health care plan, elderly care, national security, children, poverty etc...But all these political topics are only good enough for a charade of egos that is part of a never ending masquerade. 

The definition of a masquerade is normally a party, a dance, or somekind of festive gathering where people can wear masks or costumes. It can also mean a facade, a pretense, or a false character. Different settings such as the corporate office, church, social gatherings and family reunions show their own masquerades. Each masquerade are mostly designed by the people of that setting, and their personal background. Sometimes its a different masquerade everytime they meet because it all depends on the mask that each individual decided to wear for that particular day.

Let's explore the masquerade in the corporate office setting. More than likely we will see a variety of people with different ethnicity, orientation, culture and belief. That pretty much sums up a person you see in public. When you enter the corporate world, there are titles and sub-titles that describe one's character and job function. You have the CEO, the womanizer; the CAO, the shotcaller. Then you'll have the different departments with their VPs, Directors, and Managers. Ofcourse some departments are better than others because it depends on the leadership style of its leader.

After giving so many years of service to a company, you begin to notice the company's pattern towards its employees; or the employees behavior and sentiments towards the company. "The snake pit", is what I call it, can be a place where you decide to be blind to the bullshit or you can be part of the bullshit. In the snake pit, you will find the pretenders, ass-kissers, overachievers, underachievers(they normally don't last long, but because of their inside connection, they stay longer than they should), whiners, backstabbers, and the snappers. Once everyone has been introduced, and passed the first impression, then we decide on how we will interact or not interact with each other. However, in the work place the option to not interact with someone can be very slim. As we all know, almost everyone will be wearing their masks. We will sometimes look for the answer for - why is the administrative girl always going out to lunch with the white guy from PR dept? Why does the accountant rep always drinking so much coffee? Will he snap one day? Why is the gay AP rep chick so quiet?

The stories of "The Snake Pit" coming soon.    

"Going the distance"

"Going the distance" has been added to my favorite movies list. Drew Barrymore is awesome. The storyline of the movie hits closed to home. It has been almost 2 years my lady and I have been committed to each other, and it seems to get harder. Ofcourse, I can hear the words "what did you expect? duh! you are in a long distance relationship." "I don't know how you do it....I need my person right next to me." The comment will then be sealed with smh @ u. What's my response? It used to be - "Love comes knocking wherever, whenever with whomever."  But lately, I stop responding to their sarcasm, pessimistic attitude, and ignorance. But sometimes, just sometimes, the sarcasm nips at my confidence. I guess being an old romantic fool does not fit the love version of the 21st century - get it in when you can, enjoy it while it last, but keep it moving. Next.

I am trying my best to be hopeful, and let the strength of love carry me through our long distance relationship. I look at the folks whose partners have been deployed far far away from home. They wait day and night for their life partner to come home. Ofcourse my relationship can't really compare because they have so much more to worry about. I think death takes the lead over infidelity and loneliness.

I just wonder how others have made it. How they have overcome doubts, fears, and frustrations from being apart. How long did it take for them to be together? I'm just curious. Yes, I know, everyone has a different situation, or unique circumstances, and everyone is different. Bottomline, love is the common ground. Being in love or falling in love is what got us in this....now, how do we carry it out 'til the end. I wonder if there's a long distance relationship support group....LOL! i'm trippin'...but there might be...you never know. Would I sign up? Imagine that. Session 1 - "hello everyone, welcome to our first meeting of LDRs (long distance relationships), lets go around the room and introduce ourselves and give the reason why we are here." I'm sure after a couple of introductions and typical reasons for support bla bla bla....my ass would be the one to say some shit like - "hey everyone...i'm freddi, and i'm here because i'd like to know how to deal with this sexual frustration i got going...." By then i know a couple of the members ears probably twitching, and some uptight members squirming on their chairs because they know where i'm going with this. lol. I'll continue and say - "I'm sure everyone here has had some horny nights...." I'll look around to get some confirmation by nodding my head. And ofcourse the guys will quickly respond because they're open bout their shit, and its expected of them. So basically, sex will be the icebreaker for me. I wouldn't want to go just for the know how to make the love last.....naaaah....i need to know how to keep my hands to myself.....Lol...lemme stop.

Signing off.

"What if", "I wish", and "I hope not"

     There are two groups of people whose company I completely enjoy - The young and innocent & the elderly and wise. The young and innocent brings so much knowledge, joy, and comfort from the simplicity of their perception. The elderly and wise gives you determination, wisdom, and hope from their perserverance, victories and failures. Both groups will inevitably produce a balance in one's life. Hence the need to occasionally surround oneself with either groups should be highly recommended.
    
     The young and innocent is when it all begins - the beginning; the elderly and wise is where it all ends - the ending. In between the two is the experimental stages - the middle. It is during these stages that one's world is introduce to the three factors of life - what if, I wish, and I hope not. These factors may cause a dramatic, soul searching, never ending, boring, exciting, and frustrating journey. Nonetheless, in each stage, one may be given many chances. The chances are designed to help one realize or understand what the hell they're doing. Of course some of us are less fortunate than others. One group may run out of chances and never have a chance to fix or improve their ending. Game Over! No Credit!....
Meanwhile the other group may stack up on chances and have a decent or outstanding ending...Continue! Add credit (younger generation usually picks up where they left off).
    
     It is unfortunate that sometimes we waste our chances with the choices we make in this game called life. We all know we can't get another chance until we've gone through an entire level and accumulated enough golden points (good behavior/kind acts).

     Keep in mind, when we enter this world, we begin to explore with a clean mind while we are naturally wrapped in the blanket of our inherited traits. As we grow, we consider our personality and environment. Simultaneously, the three factors of life roam around, in and out of our lives. They become a part of us, and we sometimes make our best and worst decisions based on a factor of life  - a state of mind. At this rate, how long do you think one will last in this game called life?

Naked Truth vs Sugar Coated Truth

So I asked her - "would you rather the naked truth or sugar coated truth?" She quickly answered and said "naked truth..." then hesitated, "wait....sugar coated truth from my significant other, and naked truth from my friends." I raised my eyebrows and looked at her as if she wasn't so sure of her answer, and apparently she wasn't. She went on to say, "ok...it depends. For example, asking my honey do i look fat in this dress, I sure don't wanna hear the naked truth, but if its something really serious like something I need to work on, then yes, give it to me raw."

"O yea, raw?...you sure you can handle that?" I said with a smirk....we laughed at my attempt to be flirtatious. Saved by the bell....one of our co-workers asked "what's so funny?" We backtracked and asked the question....others joined the conversation. At the end, the majority preferred the naked truth from their closed friends than a significant other. Their conclusion was that the naked truth hurts more from the one you've given your all to in so many ways....it strikes a chord within you that can cause you to fall apart. In some cases one may shut down or build invisible walls around them for emotional protection, and they become defensive by pointing the finger at each other. But isn't it human nature to get defensive when we feel under attack? So i think whether its coming from a friend or lover, if you feel belittled or judged, you will fight back with some sharp words. Period.

I think, firstly, it all depends on how the naked truth is delivered. Secondly, it also depends on the closeness(or history) you share with that person(friend or lover). The naked truth is the only truth that can help you see things the way they are. Period. Sugar coated truth is something that can be manipulated to make you believe whatever, or make you not see what you need to see. For example, if one day you came to work and you were having a bad hair day, and you've announced it (whether you verbally said it or your facial expression said it all) then I'd leave it alone. But if that day, you came to work and you were trying some new look, and you came in with a new look attitude, but the new look is not working for you. As a friend, I'll let you know, and say "honey, I think I see what you were trying to do, but it didn't quite make it." crack some jokes, and keep it moving. Naturally, the naked truth is sometimes based on the kind of interaction you have with each other. Delivery is key.

Bottomline, the naked truth is best. I'd rather the naked truth vs sugar coated truth. But if you deliver it to me the wrong way, then trust and believe you will hear a whole lot of naked truth about yourself.....LOL!  But seriously, the naked truth helps you grow, figure shit out, and become stronger as you digest the truth. Now, if you wanna know all kinds of truth....you on your own buddy. I just want the truth that's gonna help me improve as a person......Period.

Would you rather the naked truth or sugar coated truth?

Mind Games = Dead Ends

Some people may believe there was a time the men population endlessly played mind games to catch as many "preys" they can. They would show off and feed their ego by bragging about the number of preys they've caught or have to play with. Nowadays, men and women have joined together to play useless mind games. I can only imagine how chaotic it must be in the dating scene. It seems that the code is to be open-minded, express your freedom, and explore. And of course that code is based on a person's perception. It also seems that no one knows the role they play, or who's who. Everybody liking everything and each other sounds appealing to the mindset of "you only live once, live it up to the fullest." As a result, you have a female messing around with a dude who's messing around with another dude, and that dude is married to a female who's messing around with another female, and that female is messing around with dudes and females.....woo wee, i guess sharing is caring....Sike! you can keep that dating scene to yourself pimps and pimpettes.

I know we all had our share in "the game", but things are different now. You only live once, and live it up to the fullest should be used for other experiences that help one to grow and influence the world in a positive way. Yeah, that shit sounds corny to a horny 18 or 23 year old, but when your ass gets older, your regrets will make you age quicker.

Its a known fact we live in a very selfish environment. Period. Everyone is for self. What makes ME feel good. What makes ME look good. What makes ME be the next one on top. And some people will do whatever it takes to get what they feel belongs to them. But the crazy thing about that is selfish people are always looking for something or someone that will help them hide....granted, while hiding, some try to discover their good qualities, and understand how to love, and want to do better. Some try to create an illusion to keep them "normal". Meanwhile others walk around wearing these "costumes" and succeed to fool many. Some wear the costume of confidence, generosity, loyalty, security, and power. Then they head out and go hunting for their next victim or activity to satisfy SELF.

Women use their manipulative ways to get what they want from a man; and men use their sexual ways to satisfy their appetite and simultaneously show or prove they have some type of control over a woman. So far, from what I've heard, women are ahead of the game. I'm just on the sideline clapping for the females who got their shit in order.....not just a mind game master, but a no non-sense chick (NNC). She's been there done that, but bounced back and kept it moving while your ass just stood there watching her ass walking away. Ego.....checked. Balls.....crushed. LOL. Fuuuuunnny. Anyway, back to what I was saying.....

As the players of the mind games continue to play, they will sometimes face the inevitable - a dead end. Imagine if you're playing a sport that requires you to think of your next move in order to score. Now imagine you're playing this sport non-stop, and you can't take too many breaks because you will get stomped on. You have to keep up to keep scoring. Eventually, your ass will run out of everything. You not gonna have a damn thing to offer anymore. "Anything done under the sun has already been done"....duh! All the tricks you've used to score are old. Shit....your ass old! You gonna need to sit your ass down and look around you. Then you'll realize, all the other mind gamers have gone their own way. Some to be old like you and continue with their old fuckeries. Otlhers will eventually stop playing mind games and settle down with love or without love....as long they're not alone, they're ok.

Bottomline, mind games are a waste of time. They will bring you some sexual escapades, some thrills, some drama, some STDs, some abortions, some sleeping/prescription pills, and some more stuff that will eventually wear you out. Mmmmmm....interesting...I don't see anything positive in these games, but yet, we still play the damn thing. Smdh.